it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
