Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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