you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
