I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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