Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
