Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
