I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
