Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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