called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
