I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
