so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
