is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
