I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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