She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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