Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
