when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
