I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
