kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
