I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
