don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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