I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
love makes seman taste better
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
