how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize