This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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