i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
sex in a hospital.. check
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
