I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
