you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
