dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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