when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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