Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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