God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Randomize
