I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm really busy with my period
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