Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
