making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
