So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
