I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
