He told me they were just razor bumps!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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