I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
