he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize