I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
