the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Randomize
