I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
