You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And then my night got REAL pukey
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
