How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
