they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Sober January is a disaster.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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