You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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