"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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