Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
