i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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