thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize