Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize