Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
