i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
