I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
