Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
