would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
