Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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