I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
