My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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