It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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