Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
